Jude 8/9 months

Jude is on the verge of independence. He is crawling on his elbows. He is pulling up to stand. He is sitting up all by himself from laying down. He really talks a lot when someone is listening. Most of his time is spent watching his brother. Roman is loud enough for both of them. But, when you listen, he talks. And he really has a lot to say! His words are really well directed. His vocabulary is increasing. Today he said "bath" as we sat next to the tub waiting for it to fill up. He says "Hi." It is amazing to be a part of this process and especially to compare how my boys develop. You always think your first child is the most intelligent of course. Then, the second one comes along and your realize how every child is more developed in different ways. It is all about that God given personality. He really tries to imitate what we say. It is pretty funny. When we say "Thank you" or "Love you" he will repeat us with very similar sounding words. Roman was so ahead of the game in so many ways. Jude is right on schedule on some of those things like crawling. But, he is quicker at different types of things like talking. They are so different yet similar.

My boys weigh EXACTLY the same at 9 months. Isn't that strange? Roman was only 3/4th of an inch longer. So they are very close to the same size. This is odd to me because it seems like Roman was so much smaller. Jude is clapping and playing peekaboo. His favorite thing right now is music or singing. He starts swaying back and forth the moment he hears a tune. He is eating just about everything and I haven't found a thing he doesn't like yet. But, let me just tell you he is such a big eater. He is never full! He got both of his bottom incisor teeth this month. He loves blowing his lips together and making funny sounds!

He is such a sweet baby. When he stares into your eyes there is no one else in the room but you and him. He loves his blue blanket with silk on the edges. When he gets sleepy he wants it with his paci. He holds the edges and rubs his little fingers back and forth across the silk.

Roman is imaginative and expressive. He is in fact so intelligent that he has decided that Santa is not real! He told me that Santa is only in books and on TV. I cannot convince him otherwise. He even thanked me for buying the presents that are suppose to be from Santa this year. Seriously. He is 3!!! He has to believe in Santa!

God at Barnes and Noble

Valiant Girls.
I love them from the depths of my heart. They are inspiring, encouraging, and passionate. And I love even more that God finds us at Barnes and Noble. He hears His name spoken and He is there. My hope is that the love of Jesus Christ will be transplanted into each of their lives.

So, there is a guy. Let me just say that these girls are crazy over him. There we were a few weeks ago, crowded around a table and he listened from across the room. He sort of became a running joke among us. (If you saw him you would understand) We laughed because of our conversation. It is a very open area. If you can imagine a group of 11 or 12 teen-age girls talking in a book store. It is quite loud. People listen and we are not ashamed.

There we were last night, just assuming our typical positions around our table. I actually made the comment “Okay, let’s just see what crazy thing is going to happen tonight.” Then, Arianna says “Oh no, he’s back.” Let me just add here that I highly doubt any of the girls were actually thinking “Oh no.” He walked past us. I said as I threw my study notes in the air “Girls we have to keep it together. He will be back so we have to NOT be so obvious.” We were way past obvious but I was desperately trying. Within five minutes, he was back across the room writing and listening as I struggled to keep our conversation going.

We discussed relationships and boundaries. The girls had a lot of opinions on this topic. I secretly prayed and wondered if there was a way at all I could change or influence their thoughts on this matter. I was struggling.

At the end of the night, when there were only a few girls left, he walked over to our table and handed me this note.

“Share this with your girls. I pray my encouragement blesses you all as yours has blessed me.
– The tall guy with long, blond hair and the skinny jeans”

The note was quickly pulled from my hands and read aloud.

“When I look across the floor and see you girls. I see Christianity as God intended it to be. Public, unashamed, accountable, transparent. When your sweet, God-given voices reach my ears, I hear the voice of Jesus whispering into my own, “One day, my son, you will have a woman such as these.” Honestly, I am a young Christian man. I am eighteen years old. I have known Christ for fourteen of those years and I have struggled with addiction for eight. From the standpoint of a man after God’s heart, you young ladies are the catalyst to life-change. I pray. I worship. I read the good book. But none of these are as powerful as the testimony I hear from you ladies. Godly women are the reason lost and struggling men run into God’s arms when they experience the hurt I have been scarred by. I pray God sends me a woman like one of you. You are all beautiful in God’s eyes and in mine. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently, even yourselves. Protect your hearts, your minds, and most of all, your bodies. If a man truly loves you, he will go after your hearts, not your purity. God bless you all.”

There is no one like my God. He is the Truth. He is working and making a way at all times. When I don’t know what to say, obviously He makes a way to get the point across.

Jude 7/8months and Mr. Roster

Jude. Jude hit 8 months! He is absolutely nothing like his brother. He is hesitant, observant, demanding, pleasant, analytical.... He doesn't like major unexpected movements. Most of the time, if you toss him in the air, his arms will fly up and shake like he is terrified. The frown between his eyes indicates he would rather be securely resting in your arms. We put him in his swing outside this past week and there went his arms. Frightened. But, he LOVES watching his brother swing in a swing. Now that is comedy. Because he senses the laughter and love in Ro's voice. If you are happy, he is happy. If you are upset, so is he.

The way to his heart is love. Just sit in front of him and talk. Put your eyes right on him like there is no one else around and you will see smiles. You can tell when he thinking and figuring something out. But, he wants to do it at his own pace. By all means, don't rush him or he will tell you about it. He loves to be held so he can snuggle his face into your chest and hold on tight.

He wants mommy. Really. It is quite extreme. It doesn't matter who is holding him, his arms are stretched and he is leaning to whichever direction is closest to me. And, I don't even have to hold him. He just wants to be near me. He will sit on the floor and play happily if he has just one hand touching my leg or if he can just lean again me.

He finally got his first tooth at the end of his 7th month. Now it looks as though another may be on its way right beside it. He is sitting up perfectly and trying so hard to crawl. So so close! He can get just about anywhere he wants just not completely up on all fours yet. His desire to accomplish milestones is not as strong as Roman's was at this age. He is a thinker. I can see wisdom behind those eyes. Roman would jump out and try anything. Jude wants to put a plan together, so when he does it, it will be right the first time.

And he has a temper. According to stories I've heard, it's the red hair. He is quiet until something happens he doesn't like. Take a toy away for example and he will let out a scream like something horrible just happened.

His smile. Oh my. He tightens his little lips together so hard that his cheeks dimple. Definitely an original and irresistible smile.

So Jude and Roman have recently started the brotherly taunting. They tease each other out of meanness and love. Roman gets in trouble for it and we all think it is cute when Jude does it of course. Jude does not miss an opportunity to grab Roman's hair or bop him on the head with a toy. It is obvious he does it on purpose considering he lets out a mischievous squeal like he must hurry and jump on the opportunity before Ro gets away. I overheard Roman telling Jude this week "You are my best friend in the whole world. I love you brother."



Roman. He has so much love. He says "Mommy, thank you for making all this food for me" so passionately. He wants to know why EVERYTHING. Why is that sick bird laying on the porch. And he is no longer happy with our quick answers. He sticks around to see what exactly daddy is doing that he didn't want him to see. "Why did he put it in the trash can?" His little mind is way too clever as times. He talks to everyone. In just a grocery shopping trip Roman makes at least 5 friends. And he says so much that most people can only gather a few words. He is learning his Christmas songs and taking it very serious. Singing the words as loud as he can, memorizing, and practicing. He loves his classmates and his teacher this semester. He is very upset on the days he has to miss. He wants to do and be a part of everything. By all means, lets not miss out on anything!



I am very proud and thankful for these two boys. In the midst of recent tragedy among many friends, I am seeing the great fortune I have even more clearly. Each of them, a gift, created for a purpose. May they fulfill God's desire for their lives.

The Easy Road

Oh my Word. Life is moving and changing so quickly. Over the past 2 months, God has been unveiling new ideas and new ways of living. Lets see if I can sum it all up.

It all started when Roman had a horrible reaction to his asthma medication. I was scared and wondered what to do next. I didn't want to pump his little body full of any more toxins but was scared he would end up back in the hospital. Through a serious of prayers and people walking into my life, I consulted a chiropractor that specializes in natural medicine. She is now successfully treating me and Roman. After three months, I am free of lower back pain that I had lived with for over a year. Roman is healthy. He has only suffered from one minor cold since the beginning of cold/flu season. This is truly a miracle in itself. For now and hopefully forever, asthma has subsided.

In the meantime, God was teaching me about our ministry. Inspiring me with new ideas and totally new thought processes. He has shown me some incredible things. It is exciting to feel God so present in my life again. We were uprooted and transplanted - now living as missionaries in a convenient sort of way. Away from family but devoted to a group of individuals. Not worthy by any means - but wanting and willing.

Next, a call from a physician reminding me of something from my past. Her words "Ignorance is bliss huh?" may ring in ears for a long time. There are antibodies in my blood that should not be there indicating I have some sort of autoimmune disorder. One antigen in particular indicates Scleroderm - a horrible disease that potentially kills within 5 years.

I know that that Satan can be clever but I am on to him. In an effort to destroy my hopes and dreams, he uses defeat. He uses fear. This disease, I do not have. But let me just tell you that it did mess with my mind for a while. Still there are days I am weak and I give in to thoughts of defeat.

I took this information and asked God what to do with it. He is now leading me on a journey of holistic nutrition. Through research, I am learning about many things we consume which are proven to causes autoimmune disorders, cancer, etc. And learning about all the things we were created to consume that we do not. I am taking supplements, choosing food differently, and eliminating certain foods from my diet.

Like my last post, I believe this is another issue of black and white. We want to believe that what we are told regarding what is good for us is true. We want to believe that all the research has been done for us. The truth is there are agendas and there are mistakes. As an nurse, I was taught that medicine is truth. Never was I reminded to read the small print. The print that tells you that the medicine you are taking caused uterine cancer in 50% of the mice it was tested on. Never was I told that hydrogenated oils cannot be digested and float around as free radicals in our bloodstream.

We are given one body. At 29 years old, I have decided to finally take care of mine like it was a gift from God. It is right. Also I've decided to take care of my children (and my husband) the best I way I can. The easy road is not the best - it never is.

And now He is teaching me about my mind. You have heard "You are what you eat" right? I am learning that the same thing applies to my mind. I am eliminating certain TV shows that I absolutely adore. But the thoughts that are implanted into my head are detrimental. I said in my last post that if Satan can implant just one thought than he has power. I am focusing. I am meditating on God and His word.

So, there it is. The beginning of my journey to a physically and mentally healthier me. Right now, I am feeling really great. I am laughing more, breathing easier, and enjoying my days at a slower pace. I am learning to love unconditionally. It is Jesus that heals you. It is Him that teaches you and makes you better.

Black and White

My boys. They have absolutely no idea how much they are loved. They have no idea how I cherish every single smile, every single glance. I hold it in the palm of my hand like someone just gave me the world. My heart aches when I think of them being sick or someone hurting one of them. How can one survive this? There are days when the responsibilities overtake me. There is so much fear. Fear of sickness. Fear of sadness. Fear of hurt. And it is all around. Some days I feel it coming closer. I hear of pain that others must endure and I wonder how long it will be that I live in this world of shelter. How long can I endure under His wings. He didn't promise perfection.

May God give me peace in these times that Satan and his team are out to torment and destroy. They want me to believe I cannot be safe. They want me to believe it is my turn next. I am mad that I let them in. I am frustrated that I don't recognize them when they sneak around trying to latch on. They are leaches. Draining me from what strength I have left.

Black and White. We want to believe that is the way it is. Are the only things real those that are tangible? The truth is that there is this whole other dimension. We must see it to protect ourselves. We have to believe it exists and remember its claim against us. We have the ONE thing he can NEVER have - a promise. We have to protect our hearts, our souls, our minds from the enemy. If he can implant just one thought, he has power. He has no power in me or my family. I give everything to Jesus Christ. He is my understanding. He is my strength. He is my peace.

Recognize them. Remove them. You have power in the name of Jesus Christ because He lives in you. You are stronger. Let God build you up. Let God be your refuge in times of despair. God will deliver you from the enemy and be your safe place.

Catching Up

So many thoughts. So many things to reflect upon. But, since my time is limited, I will start with the most important and see how far I get tonight. The past 2 months have flown by so quickly. We went to Florida with my dad, which was a miracle in itself. More to come on that. The trip was amazing. Jude's first time to the beach and Roman's third.



Jude is ending his 6th month. I cannot believe how my baby has grown. Today, he stood by himself not holding on to anything but leaning against a box. He is picking up small snacks and feeding himself. He almost has the sitting up milestone accomplished but not quite exact. Still toppling over to the left or right. You can't lay him down without him immediately pulling a fast one. Before you know it he is on his tummy wiggling across the floor. He knows he has places to go and things to do but can't accomplish his dreams quite yet. He is maneuvering his way out of every infant seat. So, needless to say, we are in this in-between place that will pass very quickly. He is a hungery little one. When looking at his pictures that is obvious. He constantly wants to eat. And then he grunts! Grunts when he wants it and grunts when he eats it! It is like he knows there are so many wonderful things he has never tasted as he longs for each of your bites! He said Dadda, Momma, and Bubba all in two days of turning 6 months old. Today, just a few days from 7 months he is saying "Gan Gan" which is, of course, Gran Gran in baby language. He is a grabber. He reaches for EVERYTHING. He can't hold one thing long enough to know what he has when he is already reaching and stretching for the next. He talks, laughs, and plays with his brother already. Still in love with his mommy of course and I will soak up every second of it!



Roman. He is one intelligent little guy. Flash card expedition. DAY 1 - knew 2 letters. Day 3 - knew EVERY letter. I try to study preschool books with him and he already knows how to do everything. Things I have never taught him, he just knows. All about matching, mazes, shapes, sizes, the list goes on and on. He is even starting to sound words out already! He just embraces every part of life. Nothing will ever slip past him. He remembers and reasons on an adult level at times. He is a truly amazing person. He notices things I walk past. He is teaching me so much and helping me to see things I once ignored. He has a very loving and concerned heart. That is one thing I love about him. He truly sympathizes with people around him. He wants everyone to feel as loved as he does. I have seen tears in his eyes when he thought someone was hurt and he tries so hard to understand. Questions! There are at least 500 a day! "What does a minute mean?" "Why?" "What does a little while mean?" Never never say a word without being prepared to explain it. He wants to badly to understand life and all its mysteries.

Tonight, David is in Austin, TX, submersed in experiences of a lifetime. I am in KY with family, also embracing these moments of sereneness. There almost isn't room enough for all there is to consider.

What a Life

Jude is 5 months old. He absolutely loves his brother. It is really nice to have Roman to entertain him when I'm busy. I put Jude in the playroom in his walker with Roman and he is entertained for a long time. He longs to do the things his brother is doing. And he loves when his brother pays attention to him. I find Roman talking to Jude many times a day telling him "Its okay Jude. I'm right here" or "I love you brother." Roman likes to sit beside him in the floor and hold his hand while they watch cartoons together.

Jude is rolling and reaching everywhere. When he sees something he wants, he will do anything to get it. He was so quiet for so long but over the past couple of weeks he has started talking a lot more. We play a game where he grunts and I mock him by grunting. He laughs and laughs. That game can go on for a long time. He cackles out loud EVERY TIME you tickle his neck. His favorite this right now is a sippy cup. A few weeks ago I gave him a cup with some cold water and he LOVED it. He lays in his bouncy seat with it for at least 30 minutes. He will take a few drinks, chew on it, then spit it all out:) I think he likes to chew on it because its cold and feels good on his gums. He is eating solids twice a day now. He has finally decided he likes it! He gets mad if you don't feed him fast enough and grunts at you. You can't take a break in between bites! He is sleeping really well. Going to bed at 8 and waking up around 6 to eat. Of course, we have our night every so often where he likes to wake up every hour. But, for the most part, he is doing great.



I pulled out all of Roman's winter clothes this week. Jude is already fitting in all of Roman's 6-9 month stuff and some of his 12 month! He is such a solid boy which makes for a snugly little one! He has started one of my favorite phases which is playing with his feet.! Awww - I could sit and watch him play with his feet all day. Although, those feet can sure be distracting when he is trying to go to sleep and there they are - right in front of him - so tempting to play with. He is just so calm and sweet. He wakes from a nap by quietly talking and playing. Unless he decides he wants Mommy, then he lets out this painfully loud screaming cry. It is the only time he cries this way. It is very very sweet that he wants ME so much but a little frustrating when I can't leave him with anyone during church, for example, because they bring him to me thinking something terrible is wrong! Then, afterward he whimpers for a long times like he is trying to tell on someone for not doing right. When all along they were doing everything right.

Roman starts a new preschool year this Thursday. He will be going one day a week again this year. We do a couple of days of school at home during he week and everytime I try to teach him something he ends up telling me how to do it. He must pick up things very quickly. I sat down to teach him rectangle the other day and instead he showed my ALL 6 shapes on the page, then continued to draw an i. None of those things I had taught him except 3 of the shapes.

Roman told us a few days ago that he had 3 favorite places. They are Cracker Barrel, Target, and Chuck e cheese. He thinks Cracker Barrel is what we mean when we say we are going to stop somewhere quick and pick something up. No McDonalds - just Cracker Barrel:)

Roman went 5 solid months without sucking his thumb, then had a relapse. For some unknown reason, started again. Last weeks he has his second dentist appointment. He did awesome except says that he NEVER wants bubble gum toothpaste again. Then sold me a medication to paint on his thumb nail that taste bitter and will cause him to not be able to such his thumb. So, when we got home I sat him down and we had a talk about the medicine and what it does. He has not sucked his thumb one time since! He told me that we can take it back to the dentist because he doesn't need it.

It is so wonderful having two boys. They already love each other so much and are already playing together. Jude get so excited and starts swinging his legs and arms when he sees Roman driving his four wheeler or playing with his monster truck! I can tell they are going to be best friends and that is priceless.



I love these boys and I love our family.