A blog about the reality of God's presence, love and involvement in everyday occurrences. This is a record of my journey towards discovery. I often share thoughts on femininity, scripture, motherhood, creativity and ministry.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Sickness

Yesterday morning at 1 am Roman woke up whining and tossing in his bed. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong until 4 am when he started vomiting. He continued to vomit every 30 minutes until the afternoon when I started! It was so terrible. Roman laid on a pilot on the floor in the living room and couldn’t even get up for hours. He would try to crawl to me then just fall over. He got really scared and shaky every time he started vomiting. Every time he would look at me with these terrified eyes like “Mommy, make it stop.” I currently don’t have one clean towel, blanket, sheet, or item of clothing in the house. At one point I saw him point and barely muffle “car.” His hot wheel was just out of reach. It was so sad! Today Roman has bounced right back but mommy is still recovering.

So, Roman started with a virus that gave him a runny nose, cough, and fever. That turned into an ear infection with another fever. Then, Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. Next was the runny nose that came back. And now yesterday – the flu. The past month has been a rough one for my little one. But, he is incredibly strong. You would think he had never been sick. Thank goodness that all of his ailments have only been temporary. Thank you God for taking care of him. Hopefully, we are on the other side of sickness.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Kids Party Jump


To Worry or Not to Worry

Yesterday, I received a phone call letting me know that “Jason isn’t doing very good.” He is my 33 year old cousin that was diagnosed with an untreatable brain tumor 3 years ago. He now has a bleed on his brain and all treatments have stopped responding. They say his memory will be the first to go followed by everything else in the days to come.

I grew up very close to this family. They lived a few miles down the road. I spent a lot of time there, especially with his sister, Jennifer, who is the same age as me. Jason’s grandmother and aunt died of breast cancer. His mom was treated for a malignant breast cancer a few years ago that doctor’s say will most likely show up somewhere else. Jennifer’s daughter, Jason’s niece, has been in a wheelchair for 6 months dealing with a life-threatening disease she contracted from another student at her elementary school. She is getting better though. I just wonder how a family such as this can experience so many tragedies. I can't wrap my mind around the despair they must be feeling. I can’t be sad because it feels selfish to be sad. Like I am taking on the privilege of this feeling when I’m not the one loosing my dad, or husband, or brother, or son, like they are. I want to protect them and say “No, you can’t be sad unless you are one of them.” No one else deserves a chance to own a part of this. But, I am loosing my cousin, and hearing of the torture of family keeping a smile on their faces because they have to. Making jokes when he can’t remember things. Smiling at the discussion of memories made together but shedding tears at the same time because the loss is inevitable.

I read a quote recently that said “If you pray, don’t worry, but if you worry, don’t pray.” At first, I thought this was a very narrow minded thing to say. Then, I began to think of the depth of it. Because, I am an inherited worrier, I was partially offended by reading that. Like someone was saying I was wasting my time by praying. But, then I thought about how truly difficult it is to pray when you’re busy with worrying. How much time it consumes to constantly imagine how terrible every ending could be. So, I was encouraged by this simple quote. A quote that speaks volumes while using so little words.

Then, I received this phone call yesterday and now I don’t know what to do. I know at this point every Christian out there would have some generic thing to encourage me by. But after years of praying, we have found ourselves here. Don’t get me wrong, I have seen many prayers answered. Personally, God has never left a prayer regarding my personal life unanswered. But, what about the ONE. This HUGE one.

Monday, February 18, 2008

Day 13

I am finding that being around a much larger group of children every Sunday morning is causing Roman to find a lot of new sicknesses. On day 13th of being sick and almost getting better, Roman woke up with Hand Foot and Mouth Disease. YaY! Lovely. He came to me crying and pointing to his fingers. Covered all over them were red blister type lesions. Then, I found a few on his feet. And now, a few on his mouth. I am ready to escape into hiding with my son to protect him from all illnesses! The doctor says there is no treatment and they are extremely painful. Just what I wanted to hear……..

On a better note, my sister, Tracy, is here visiting with us for a few days. We are so happy she is here! Oh yeah, her stinky old dog, Jasmine is here too. Wearing diapers and all, she is approximately 15 years old. As long as she doesn’t croake on my clock everything is fine. Ha. We slept in, went to Chedders for lunch, and picked up a couple of movies on the way home. Roman crashed in the car on the way home with literally one leg practically above his head. Anyway, we are having a fun sister sister day and will probably resort to curling up on the couch talking about everything under the sun. Trying to convince her to move in with me. Every time she comes to visit, I think I get a little closer to persuading her.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Ironic

Awww, it feels good to sit down…….

There were 14 of us tonight at Friendship group. It was – indescribable. God is truly amazing. I am thankful that He directed me to start this group and that he has brought others into my life to help. Wow, God’s presence was here. It is always a calming, gentle, freeing, and trusting atmosphere. Nothing but His direction could lead a group of girls to share the way they do. He cares so deeply about these sweet girls. I am fortunate to be a part of their stories and lives.

Tuesday David came home from work to tell me that he had two tickets to the KY Vandy B-Ball game! I called our “nanny” and she came right over to watch Ro for so we could go support the Wildcats and have a night together. Dressed in all blue we sat in the midst of many Vandy fans. Actually, if you could picture the most annoying fan EVER, she was sitting next to us. Although she was a nice lady, she was the one who knew every cheer, the spirit song, and every player’s name. Her voice rang loud above everyone else’s. Little did we know, the game we were so psyched about, would be one to go down in record books. One of the worse games in KY b-ball history. Actually, to put it lightly, humiliation would be the word to use here. Every time Vandy scored, the annoying fan next to us would jump up and down, grab David’s arm in excitement, and then quickly apologize. Final score / 93 52. Isn’t it ironic the way things work out? It was actually fun in a strange way to have our moment of humiliation to be together. At least we had each otherJ

Wednesday Ro pulled his table and chair all the way over in front of the big window in the living room so he could sit and watch the snow fall. It was one of the most precious things I have seen him do. He told me all about it many times.

Roman is going on the 12th day of sickness. Thank goodness we have had only a few bad days though. We don’t know he is feeling bad until the temp goes up and I feel the heat like a radiator from his forehead. He was almost better when he developed an ear infection. This did not make him happy. So, Roman and I had a slumber party Wednesday night. We stayed up ALL night and watched cartoons and ate at 3am on the couch. It was a sweet memory. Finally, at 5am he fell asleep and we sleep until 7:30am. So, on the third day of antibiotics I am seeing some improvement. Hopefully, soon he will be completely better.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Homesick

Yesterday, I was sad. After putting some thought into why I was feeling so gloomy, I realized I was homesick. It was my mom’s birthday. I did get to celebrate with her just a couple of weeks ago. But, on Friday, I got a call from my sister wanting us to come up on Sunday afternoon to surprise Mom for a birthday dinner. Obviously, we were not able to for many reasons. At first, I didn’t give it a second thought. But, yesterday I was sad because I realized that they all got to be together making a great memory and I wasn’t there. Most days I am completely 100% okay with the fact that I am so blessed to be only a couple hours away from my family. But, every now and then the little girl inside of me that needs her mommy rises up and wants her to be just around the corner. I do sincerely miss them all in so many ways. Once every few weeks is not enough to see the most important people in your life. I started to think about my 2 sweet nephews and niece and how they are growing so quickly. How I want Roman to play with them and learn from them. How want them to be Roman's best friends like my cousins were when I grew up. So, then I was homesick for all my family, not just my mom! Being in this state of mind brings out all sorts of emotions. Today, I am feeling better. I am dealing with the fact that we have to make the best of our circumstances.


Last night, we had our friends, Daniel and Alicia, over for dinner. They are two of the sweetest and most humble people we know. They have experienced so much that most people don’t even know. Daniel has seen many physical healings with his own eyes. Like arches in feet being straightened. They have seen multitudes of people coming desperately to Jesus. They speak three languages, maybe more! Being around them is always very encouraging. They, with their background in missions, help us to see the simplicity of life and appreciate our abundance of blessings. I am thankful that God has brought them into our lives.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Is Karaoke Ever a Good Thing?

Finally, I am actually writing on my blog. The purpose of creating it was to share pictures and video with family that unfortunately live far away. I think this will be a great way for them to be a part of what is going on in our lives. Especially to read about Roman growing and changing so quickly. But, I love to read the thoughts from my sweet friends who post regularly on their blogs. So, I want to share mine with them as well!
Last night was our first youth combined youth event between Sumner Life and the Hope Center. It went really well except for the terrible failed effort at Karaoke. We were lacking the words to the music which really made it impossible. It was the beginning to the process of getting to know each other. Some unintentional segregation was noted in the beginning but aventually more and more mingling happened.
Being the one who orchestrated the event, of course I have some criticism. I think the night lacked a little energy that we usually have. Many factors played a part in that. 1. Not knowing one another 2. Extra large room 3. Terrible attempt at karaoke. But, overall there was priceless bonding that happened.
It will take time before it feels comfortable for any of us again. I believe a part of us all is sad in a way because we are walking away from familiararity. A feeling of closeness and trust. I wasn't sure if I was ready for our youth group to take on a new identity you know. But, I know that God can only bring us into the next stage in His plan if we are willing to step out in faith and take a risk. I should be prepared in the future that if I am just getting settled in and comfortable, that probably means God is about to do something different. It is just the way He works. And He is always faithful to make the next chapter in my story better than the previous one. So, as a youth group, we will get there and it will be better than before.
Roman still has a stuffy nose but he is getting better. I believe I may have the beginning of what he had though. I've been sneezing all day, my throat is sore, and nose a little stuffy. Hopefully, it is just allergies but all signs are pointing to the fact that Roman passed on his ailment to his mommy. He is becomming such a good communicator. Finally, he says yeah and no to questions. Although, they are not always the answers I want to hear. Oh, how I can see the 2's approaching. His efforts to throw ragging fits are usually stopped pretty quickly when he realizes no one is watching or by a quick offer of gummies in public. But, they are happening more and more often. When I am in a good mood, they are kinda cute in a way.
Every single day he teaches me something new about himself or myself. He reminds me to stop and enjoy the way the sun comes in through the shades or the way my bouquet of flowers in the kitchen smell. He is amazed by the things we take for granite. But, when I stop and think about them, I too am amazed.

Our New Church Building


Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Tuesday, February 5, 2008