A blog about the reality of God's presence, love and involvement in everyday occurrences. This is a record of my journey towards discovery. I often share thoughts on femininity, scripture, motherhood, creativity and ministry.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Close Calls

Two close calls – two days in a row. Yes, the experiences definitely have me thinking, a little frightened, and feeling very thankful!

Thursday, Roman and I were in my laundry room. There is one thing in my entire house that isn’t baby proof and it is in that room. I live in constant fear that the door will be left open and Roman will wonder into that room where there is an accident waiting to happen. Although, today, the dresser was finally securely anchored to the wall.

So, I was sitting in the feared room trying on shoes. Roman was beside me and reached over to open a drawer of my dresser. The dresser is very top heavy and crammed way too full of clothes. In slow motion, I saw the dresser tipping. I plunged towards it letting it land on my shoulder and left arm while a corner of one of the drawers swung open to crash into that little noggin of Romans. He quickly moved and I sat there for a moment trying to push the dresser up and off of me. Because of the awkward position I was in, I was unable to do it. Ro began crying and pointing at me. He knew I was in quite a predicament. Finally, I had to pull some of the drawers out and onto the floor so I could then lift the dresser off of me.

Other than the big gash in my newly constructed dry wall from the foot of the dresser ramming into it, we are completely fine. Well, I do have a bruised arm and a sore shoulder. Nothing tragic. But, I’m sure you’ve all heard the stories of dressers falling over and killing children.

Friday, I was driving home from work. I was cruising along on the 386 highway at ummmm….. we will say 75 miles per hour. David and Roman were on a long walking journey around our neighborhood waiting for me to stop and pick them up on my way home. I was eagerly rushing to see my sweet boy’s face when he saw me drive up to him. All at once, I received three text messages. Now, an average mature adult would stop here and think to themselves, “It is not a wise thing to do to read or write text messages when driving.” (Especially when you have a son and husband that you want to get home to and not die in the process)

Well, I made the wrong decision and learned a big lesson. I looked down at my phone. When I looked up, I was a little closer to the car on my right than I needed to be and it scared me. But, I wasn’t close enough to make my next mistake. I jerked my wheel to the left and completely lost control of my car. I swerved back and forth a few times desperately trying to get my wheels lined back up. I was squealing and smelling rubber. Then, at some point, I headed down into a ditch in the median on my left between the two lanes of traffic. I remember bumping, spinning, and heading down in direction. The whole time I was saying “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus.” That tends to be the ONLY thing that ever comes out of my mouth in situations like that. I guess I instinctively know that I’ve lost all control and He is the only one who can help me. I was just waiting to crash into something at any moment. My car successfully completely a 180 degree turn and landed with its’ wheels wedged into the hill next to me facing the opposite direction I had been going. My things were thrown around everywhere in my car. A police officer pulled up and helped me check my car over and get out of the ditch.

The rest of the night all I could do was think about the sensation of my car out of control and wonder. I wondered how in the world I could have cars in front, behind, and beside me and not involve any of them in my accident. I wondered about the fact that if I had been a few feet further along I would have went across a flat median and into another lane of oncoming traffic instead of down into that ditch. Turns out, I and my car were both completely okay. Nothing tragic. But, I’m sure you’ve all head the stories of car accidents on this very highway occuring and killing people.

So, it is Saturday, and I am working on successfully completing the third day with no accidents and no close calls. I just want an average day will my family and to enjoy every minute of it with all of the depth and participation and attention that it deserves!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Snowday


Here are my two nephews (Jackson 6 and Emerson 4) playing in the snow on Saturday! They are just 3 1/2 hours north of us in Seymour, IN. Roman would have loved playing in the snow with his cousins!



Here is their sister and my niece (Victoria) dressed warm for a cold day! Isn't she beautiful! We haven't seen them since Christmas. Hopefully, we will get to soon.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Friendship

Today, I realized something that always catches me by surprise.

There has been a pattern with each season of my life thus far. Well, frankly it just takes me a really long time to get to know someone well enough to feel completely comfortable around them. I mean, longer than normal. Really – I’m aware of it. For me to really open up and be myself – it is a process. Once I get there, I am relieved and happy. You know, the place you get to with a friend where you can laugh out loud, say silly goofy things, and feel completely okay with the fact that you aren’t doing just the right things all the time.

When I was in high school, I had a group of friends like this. Another group in nursing school that followed into my career as a nurse at my first hospital. I knew both groups of those girls a long time before I gave in and let them know me. Actually, both groups were friends for a long time before I joined in even though we all met at the same time. When I finally let go, it was such a freeing experience. This isn’t something I would ever do to myself intentionally because it isn’t a pleasant experience to analyze and worry about how I might appear to others. But, it is just something I do. I know it is mostly caused by fears and insecurities and I hate it. I know that it also causes others to get frustrated at times. But, it’s uncontrollable. The more I think and try to stop, the worse and more frustrated I grow with myself.

Today, I realized that there are a group of girls who I have gotten to that place with and that makes me so excited! Mostly, because I know that that my future will be blessed with rich meaningful friendships. I am so thankful for these girls for loving and excepting me – And for not giving up. They are so precious and thoughtful. Today they threw one of my favorite birthday parties. We had a fantastic meal at Chef’s Market then had delicious cake and truffles. My friends bought me the most thoughtful gifts: books, gift certificates, photo albums, a Starbucks tumbler, gardening supplies, Anthropologie kitchen décor, candles, the list goes on and on. Thank you all so much for all the work and money you put into making today such an unforgettable birthday. It meant so much more than you even realize!

So, my 28th Birthday has definitely been the best one yet. So many things to be grateful for! Mom, Tracy, Dylan, and Danny got me this great 4 tier greenhouse where I’ve already started growing seedlings. Dad and David’s parents gave me money – which is always a much appreciated gift. David and Roman got me this super cute apron from Anthropologie and a Robin Miller cook book.

Not only do I get the privilege of knowing God and having a healthy beautiful family, I also get a group of friends that I deeply love! Seriously, I’ve said many times that God spoils me. I’m not kidding. He keeps adding and adding to my life. I give Him complete credit for this one!

Monday, March 3, 2008

Easter Lilies


Easter Lilies

I absolutely love Easter Lilies. Saturday night I realized that my back and side yard is full of them! I wasn’t living here last spring so I was completely unaware that these beautiful flowers would bloom. I love them because they mean spring is around the corner. Because they have the most wonderful sweet aroma you can smell from quite a distance. Because they are the boldest color yellow that is always the first to make itself know in the midst of the winter dryness. And because when I was a child, I would go out and gather them to make bouquets.

Rut

I’ve been in a rut. One I’ve been having trouble getting out of. Mentally mostly. Many things may have played into this but I mostly blame myself. Have you ever felt like you were in a deep empty well in the ground? You can barely see the sun but you know it is up there. I’ve been feeling anxious, chlostrophobic, and uninspired. I hate to even admit it for two reasons. One is because I like to appear to have it all together and the other is that it sounds selfish, pointless, and maybe a little crazy. But, my thoughtful husband has reached his arm down into my empty well.

Anniversary Weekend

Two days of complete perfection in weather. 72 degrees and a clear sky. David first took me to the Shelby Street Bridge. It was breathtaking. Literally, to stand on a bridge with the sunshine, the wind, overlooking water and Nashville. For the first time in a while, I felt like I could breathe so deeply. The air was much fresher than in my empty well. We stayed there for a long time talking and dreaming. Next, we went to check into our suite on the top floor overlooking a beautiful atrium at Opry Mills Hotel. That evening, we ate dinner at Germantown Café seated in front of a window overlooking the city. I had Coconut Curry Salmon. It was the best meal I have ever had. Really, ask David, I gushed over each bite. We enjoyed driving around Germantown looking in the windows of all the 1800 style homes. The next morning we had a late breakfast then walked Hillsboro Village. I have to admit to all my friends that I had my doubts about Anthropologie. Wow. Loved every part of it! As shallow as this may seem. It has inspired my creativity. I love decorating, designing, and especially making old stuff look valuable. I’ve leaned a lesson about how your passions are priceless. Without them, you begin loosing a part of what defines you.

I am so thankful for my husband who loves me so much that he planned every detail of our weekend perfectly. Every door was opened. Everything was perfect. He was perfect. I am thankful that he loves me so deeply that he knows just what it takes to help me come to the surface even when I had no reason to be in the well to begin with. I knew when I saw those lilies blooming, relief was on its way.