A blog about the reality of God's presence, love and involvement in everyday occurrences. This is a record of my journey towards discovery. I often share thoughts on femininity, scripture, motherhood, creativity and ministry.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

God Knows Best

Yesterday my two year old pulled a dinning room chair to the kitchen counter, climbed on top of it, and opened the cabinet - all in an attempt to get to the marshmallows! It would have worked out beautifully if only there had not been a stack of glass bowels right in front of them. He carefully picked up the stack and turned to place it on the counter when Mommy walked in the room and yelled his name. The next thing I knew the bowels were flying across the kitchen and hitting the floor, shattering into pieces. After the look of fear cleared his face, along came a big wet mushy faced cry.

Have you ever felt you wanted something and God just wasn't getting it done for you. There are just things in life that aren't meant to be. God tells us no or delays the results and we are so stubborn that we want it done anyway. I tend to be a very stubborn person so I relate completely to this concept. I'm convinced that you can make just about anything happen that you set your mind to. That is suppose to be a good thing right? We tell children all the time "You can be anything you want to be when you grow up." I'm a believer of that idea. Over and over in my life I've decided I wanted something and without a second thought I'm off to accomplish it on my own. I'll do whatever it takes not realizing that I may be hurting myself or others along the way because my eyes are set on what seems to be so appealing. I decide I know what is best for me and what will make me the happiest. IF ONLY I had that personality trait or IF ONLY I could be a great photographer. IF ONLY I could work 50 extra hours of overtime so I could get that new upgraded IPOD. If ONLY I had a marshmallow.

When my two year old sets his mind on something you might as well let him learn some lessons the hard way. Sometimes that is easier for everyone and prevents repetition in the future. He is not capable of critical thinking and understanding that Mommy knows best.

God Knows Best. We tend to be greedy and controlling just within ourselves. Sure. There are so many things that sound so appealing. It would be great if we could be everything to everyone while having everything. Just asking God "Should I spend hours pouring myself in learning photography?" could make all the difference. Completely unrelated to my desire to take pictures for those of you who know me well. It may be a yes! It may be him giving you that desire. Or it may not be. It may be him telling you to notice how elegant someone else seems to be when they speak because he want you to learn more about speaking. Or it could be you always wanting something God is saying NO to.

There is always something on my list. Something I want that I need to work hard to get. It is very overwhelming at times - having so many things to accomplish. Most of the time, I never ask God to begin with if I should want IT or not. On top of that, I never ask for His help to get IT.

When I said no to the marshmallows it was because I knew my son could get hurt climbing the kitchen counters and moving glass. All that trouble and no reward. He didn't even get the marshmallows in the end.

I want to spend my limited amount of time on reaching for things that are actually obtainable. Not only that, but things that are satisfying and rewarding in the end. And I'm coming to realize that I have no way of knowing what will be those things to me. My point I guess - God knows best so I think I should start asking Him what he thinks more often.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Boys

Yes - there was a part of me that wanted a girl. I had a boy and that is what your suppose to want next right? It's the all American family - one boy one girl.

But, the moment I saw that little boy responding to my touch during the ultrasound, I knew he was all mine. He is my little sweet boy growing healthy and strong. I watched him ball up all snug then stretch out big and push away. I watched his hands reach out and touch and feel. Nothing in the world could make me change the news of another rotten little boy we got yesterday. Then, I came home and held my little Roman in my arms and rocked him. He looked up at me and said "Mommy kiss pleeeaaassee" and I knew that my life couldn't be any more perfect! Wow - just the thought of the love my heart holds for my boys is overwhelming...... (And that includes my husband)

Your daddy, your brother and I can't wait to meet you little boy Huff number two :)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Unexpected

Today my son leaned over and gave me a big kiss on the cheek and hug around the neck out of no where. It was super sweet and I am thankful he is mine!