A blog about the reality of God's presence, love and involvement in everyday occurrences. This is a record of my journey towards discovery. I often share thoughts on femininity, scripture, motherhood, creativity and ministry.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Huff Update

The past 4 months have been quite a whirlwind. Our St. Andrews oasis in Florida in October began it all. A private beach with blue knee deep water as far as you could see. Then, in November, we consumed the views of the Appalachian mountains. We slept on top of a smoky mountain and sank into the forest during the day. There is nothing more indulging that sitting beneath the umbrella of a tree at a stream side. Thanksgiving lead to Christmas and everything in between.

We welcomed the new year with the city of Indianapolis - a very spontaneous overnighter. We had only one change of clothes but nothing clean. We had to shop for clothes to wear the next day! It was 75 degrees. We pulled up to Marriott and took their last room. I had to keep sending David down to the gift shop to get us all snacks and charge it to our room. The city was amazing that night. People were everywhere anticipating the new year. We walked the streets with the crowd. The historic detail of the city and the artistic flair was intriguing. We pushed our queens together to make one gigantic bed in the middle of our hotel room. The boys loved every minute of it! We woke up early the next morning and shopped at Circle Centre before heading home.

Now, here we are in the middle of a snowstorm (a TN version.) Me and the boys haven't left the house for days. It feels like a continuation of the holidays. The boys have been out sledding and watching the snow fall from our windows. God truly spoils us!

Roman is 4 1/2 years old. He seems so big lately. When I pick him up his legs hang down past my knees. I watched him play football in the living room this week with no shirt and jersey paints on. He cute little torso reminded me of a teenager! I could almost envision him as one! Mommies first little baby growing so fast! This week I watched him get his brother almost completely dressed and then, on another day, make them both plates of food for lunch. He was praying tonight and he prayed "Dear God - please help everyone in the world stay healthy, all the way to heaven, to the mountains, and to the beach, everyone." He is so compassionate and thoughtful. He also asked me this week what it would feel like to die. Those are some deep thoughts for a 4 year old! But, we've been talking a little about going to heaven so his little mind had really been working. He is so imaginative and energetic!

Jude is 22 months old. He is pretty much potty trained! Still wearing diapers at night but during the day he runs around in cute little undies. He is so proud of himself! He also has hit a growth spurt. He has gotten taller and slimmed up quit a bit. One thing I've learned about him - he can't watch tv and do anything else. When he is into a show, he is in the zone:) He is speaking in sentences! He is really coming out of his shell and we are seeing his personality come alive! He loves pretending to fall down and trick you. He can really sit down and concentrate on things longer than Roman did at his age. He love anything small he can hold in his hand. He will carry one toy around for hours never loosing grip. One day, he slept with a tiny penguin my mom bought him. He went to bed with it in his hand and woke up still holding it. He loves pretending to take care of his toys. He takes Batman to the potty and feeds him milk. This boy loves to show LOVE. He hugs and kisses and says "I love you." He looks at me with those big beautiful eyes and I devour every minute of it!

Jude's favorite Christmas toys: little people house, mickey mouse clubhouse, small dog that barks and walk when you push buttons, radio flyer ride-on, elmo & cookie monster play sets,

Roman's favorite Christmas toys: star wars light saber, star wars lego book, remote-control robot, radio flyer scooter, star wars leapfrog game, play mobile pirate set, blow-up boxing gloves

I watched the boys play together quite a bit this week. They are 2 years and 8 months apart. I know that they will forever be friends. I thought about my sister and how I would do anything in the world for her. It makes me happy that they also have each other.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Want Healing?

This is a truly beautiful Psalm. It spoke to me on the deepest level.

Psalm 41

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David.
1 Blessed is he who considers the poor;
The LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.
2 The LORD will preserve him and keep him alive,
And he will be blessed on the earth;
You will not deliver him to the will of his enemies.
3 The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness;
You will sustain him on his sickbed.

4 I said, “LORD, be merciful to me;
Heal my soul, for I have sinned against You.”
5 My enemies speak evil of me:
“When will he die, and his name perish?”
6 And if he comes to see me, he speaks lies;
His heart gathers iniquity to itself;
When he goes out, he tells it.

7 All who hate me whisper together against me;
Against me they devise my hurt.
8 “An evil disease,” they say, “clings to him.
And now that he lies down, he will rise up no more.”
9 Even my own familiar friend in whom I trusted,
Who ate my bread,
Has lifted up his heel against me.

10 But You, O LORD, be merciful to me, and raise me up,
That I may repay them.
11 By this I know that You are well pleased with me,
Because my enemy does not triumph over me.
12 As for me, You uphold me in my integrity,
And set me before Your face forever.

13 Blessed be the LORD God of Israel
From everlasting to everlasting!
Amen and Amen.

David and I have had a lot of discussion lately about healing. I have been studying and seeking God on this issue for months. I believe I was healed of Scleroderma last year. I want to be healed of diabetes. I have seen others healed. But, I have seen many not healed.

The Bible is full of scripture regarding healing. It promises healing and gives numerous examples of it. It says that we may encounter sickness and trouble but that it will only be temporary. The beautiful scripture above states that the Lord will preserve us and keep us alive!

My studies of the Word of God are leading me to believe that our prosperity and healing are related to a condition of heart. David ask me this week, "So do you believe our works bring about our healing?" That is the Christian terminology for asking if I think we earn our healing. I do not believe we can earn our healing or prosperity here on Earth. But, I do think the true intentions written on our hearts are somehow related to our prosperity. Proverbs and Psalms are laced with scriptures regarding God healing and protecting the righteous man on Earth. I understand that our treasures are built up in Heaven, and that is our ultimate goal. But, I believe that our lives here on Earth, right now, are also important to God.

The righteous man is spoken of thousands of times. The Bible says that it is the righteous or the meek the reap these advantages. It gives example after example of how a righteous man thinks and reacts. The above scriptures are talking about "he who considers the poor." The Psalm states that "the Lord will strengthen him on his sickbed." When I say prosperity, I'm not saying all the righteous are going to be rich either! I mean things like health, peace of mind, and happiness! Our lives do not come without trial. But I have a God who brings hope, who is my refuge! He brings me through, end of sentence.

My point is not really about why we have the sickness or trouble to begin with. I believe some are related to our sins but others are not. We encounter trouble because of the world we live in. But, as a follower of Jesus Christ, I do believe in an advantage. I believe I know a God who wants to cause the trouble to be temporary. He wants to show His power and bring us through. But, how and when does God do this? Why are some healed and others not?

I know that these things are in God's hands and that we will never understand everything. But, He has given us His word to go to. It tells us that a righteous man is delivered and healed. It tells us that the meek will have abundant peace. So, I'm listening to God and studying His word. I am examining myself as we begin the new year.

We seem to take pride in the fact that we can stand up for ourselves and be outspoken. We are proud of what we have and what we have accomplished. God seems to be calling us to loose the selfishness and realize what this is all truly about. One thing I know, I will never have enough according to this world. My kids will never get to do enough! I will never measure up. So, today, I stop trying. I'm filing away all my failures. God seems to be all about preferring others and paying attention to the needs around me. The best that I can do is forget about anything else and start showing my boys how its done:)

I am vowing this year to change the condition of my heart. Not only to seek healing, but to become that which God has called of me. I'm going to stop comparing and wondering what others think. We all do it! I want to be kind and gentle and love those around me who need it! I want my intentions to always be pure and my thoughts to stay grounded.